My problem...... well, one of the many anyway.

I have this way about me that makes people think I am not working hard.

I don't quite know what it is - maybe it's because I don't seem to panic or get flustered very much, but just get on and do what needs to be done?
Maybe it is because I don't fuss too much about the small details, just do them?
Maybe it is because I tend to ignore the unimportant even if other people think it is important?

I have always had this problem, as long as I can remember.

I apparently make things look effortless, and therefore people think I am not putting any effort in.

Many years ago, when I was working a labouring job, I got into trouble for being slack with a shovel, even though I had moved more of the clay dust than any one else in my group. One guy in our group I don't think actually used his shovel at all, and we got the job done in time, but I was the one singled out as being slack while the other guys laughed about it. They made fun of me for it later - they all thought it was a great joke.

Later, when I moved into an office situation, I was sacked after 8 months with the company for not putting in enough effort. That news was given to me an hour and half after closing time, when I finally got back from delivering a project to a client that a job manager had me deliver in peak hour traffic on a Friday night, after having worked till 2am that morning on this project that the project manager had not started until Thursday morning. That guy went home after sending me on the delivery by the way. And when I finally got back after battling the traffic there and back for 60km each way, one of the bosses called me into his office and let me know that they didn't think I was putting in enough effort. That was 6:30pm on a Friday night after having started at 7am that morning, and having done a 17 hour day the day before.

I have always been amongst the best producers in any office I have worked at in my field of work, sometimes producing nearly twice the volume of work of others in the various offices I have worked at.
The only time that was recognised was when I was poached by an old workmate who was then in charge of an office. He needed someone to show his junior workers how to work, and he thought I would be a good candidate.
I accepted the job, and the young guys in the office were a bit put out of joint with them bringing in an "old school" guy who had never even used digital methods in that line before.
They got a huge shock when, in less than a week I had picked up the basics of the digital software, and was producing three times as much as any of them were.
Shook up the office alright, and within the next month the production of the section improved dramatically as they tried to keep up with me.
Within six months one of them was outproducing me, and the rest were not far off - so my job was done.
After about 4 years there was an industry downturn, and I volunteered to move to another section and learn a different process.
I admit I struggled to grasp all the intricacies of the process, but I was as good as most - never fantastic, but passable, which I personally found frustrating. I like to be able to do really well at my work, and that only happened in certain aspects or particular projects.
But my boss in that section called me in for a talk one day to discuss why I was so sloppy and careless in my work. He totally got it wrong. I was not careless in my work, just average, and I messed a few projects up in a row. What I needed was better instruction and possibly not to be given jobs from certain people. Instead of making sure that proper and clear instructions were given to me, he accused me of being lazy and careless - which was not the problem at all.
In fact, there were a few project managers who gave very vague instructions and expected the operator to know how to fill in the gaps, and I just didn't know how to fill in those gaps - more experience for me, and better instructions from them, and it might have been different. But it is always the operator's fault. It did seem funny that I never got any complaints from the managers who gave clear and complete instructions. I left there voluntarily when Redundancies were offered, and my first boss there said that if things ever lift again he will have me back.

Now I find the situation still abides.

I still have people who think that I am lazy, in spite of the fact that in 20 years of this I have never missed a deadline, and always been there when I was needed.
I have people who expect me to do the impossible, and when I fail them I am a waste of space.
I have people who are disappointed when I don't have fresh milk on hand for their coffee.
I have people who are disappointed when I don't do for them that which they could easily do for themselves.

The problem is that there is no "statement of duties" for my current position.
There is no outline of what is reasonable expectation and what is not.
And I am apparently expected to be able to do every kind of maintenance job, every kind of administrative job, every kind of counseling job, every kind of teaching job, as well as keeping track of what everyone is up to and needs without spying on or intruding into anyone's life, and all this while I am the best husband and father in the world.

And people think that this is a breeze for me.

I don't know how, but I apparently make this all look so easy that the reason I can't do all these things is because I am just not trying and working hard enough.

I put a fair bit of effort in - I know there is more I can do, and I keep trying to do better and more, but in the end I am only human, and I can only do so much, and I only have so many skills and talents with which to work. And some who read this will just think to themselves that I am just making excuses. And maybe I am. Maybe I should just shut up and take a spoonful of concrete, toughen up and work harder and longer.

I could go and find a red cape and some blue tights, but I can't seem to find that big "S" to put on the chest, and without it, people just laugh at me in tights.