I, thankfully, have never had to deal with this matter directly in any church I have been in. The only people I have had to deal with have been those who are not members but trying to cause trouble or influence doctrine, and the Bible has a different way of dealing with them as it does with church members.
I have however been involved on occasion with the restoration of a wayward saint.
Let's look then at the relevant passages:
Matthew 18:15-17
(15) Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
(16) But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
(17) And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
It is interesting that if there is an issue between two Christians, it should be resolved within the church. And also there is an order to this Bible directed way of dealing with a problem between Christians.
The first step is between the parties directly involved in the matter; but look at the end of the verse - the goal for this process is TO GAIN YOUR BROTHER, or to restore the fellowship between you.
The next step is to take two or three witnesses - this is still not public, but only dealt with by a close group of members of that church.
And note that there is no mention of what happens if he hears and the problem is resolved - it is implied in the passage that the result mentioned in vs 15 is also what is relevant here - to gain your brother.
Then, after these two procedures have been followed, the third step is to make it public WITHIN THE CHURCH - this is not a free for all public accusation and humiliation.
And the final result IF HE NEGLECT TO HEAR THE CHURCH, is to consider him as a Heathen man.
The interesting thing about this is that we are not told to treat the person as persona non grata. We are to treat them as an unsaved man.
How do we treat an unsaved man?
Well, if we look at the way that some have been treated under what is sometimes claimed to be church discipline, then we would not talk to them, not acknowledge them in any way, not answer the phone if we know it is them, not walk down the same street at them, and not return a "hello" in the street if they say hello to us.
I just have to ask at this point..... Is that really how we treat unsaved men?
Of course it isn't. We are friendly and try to lead them to meet the Saviour.
This then is the real way that we should treat the person subject to these verses - in such a way that we might lead them to be restored to proper fellowship with the Lord and with us.
We DO NOT ACCEPT their sin. But then we don't accept the sin of an unsaved man either.
We do not join with their sin. But again, we do not with an unsaved man either.
The point of church discipline is not to punish but to restore. We want to bring this person back into proper fellowship with the Lord.
How does that happen if we won't even talk to them?
The kind of action that is often called "church discipline" only really serves to enhance bitterness in the person, and drive them further away from the Lord.
The first part of this process is designed to "Gain thy brother" not damage him or drive him away. The rest of it carries the same implied purpose.
There is another passage which is a bit wider in scope than just an issue between Christians:
(1) Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
This is talking about a Christian who falls into sin - I say fall, because that is the way we commonly refer to it, but in truth many times we don't fall, we jump into sin headfirst.
But if we see a brother who is in sin, we have a duty to try to help.
I actually love this passage because it is very simple and very plain about the matter of a sinning brother.
First of all, it is up to "ye which are spiritual" to deal with the matter. If you are not spiritually mature and in good fellowship with the Lord, then you should not be applying for this job.
Secondly, the very next word tells the purpose of this "RESTORE".
The purpose is not to beat them into submission, nor is it to punish them for their wrongdoing. Sin always has a price and the Lord will make sure they pay their price - it is not our job to do that.
Our job in this is to RESTORE them - or to bring them back into fellowship with the Lord.
Thirdly, this is to be done in a spirit of meekness, not out of anger or pride or self righteousness, but in meekness.
And finally it is to be done "considering thine own self, lest thou also be tempted".
Really, this is meekness explained - it is keeping in mind that I also am less than perfect, and that I also could fall (or jump) into sin at any time.
So many times I have seen church discipline used as a weapon to beat up on someone. So many times I have seen someone "dealing with a sinning brother (or sister) with the intent to hurt or punish, not to restore. These people, by their very actions are showing that they are not spiritual, and their actions also display no meekness or humility that comes with understanding that I too am a sinner.
I have gotten into trouble at times for trying to restore a fallen christian.
People who may or may not be involved have accused me of helping them to sin, or of encouraging them in their sin.
The reality of the matter is that I will not help any unrepentant sinning Christian. The first step in that case is to bring that person to repentance for their sin.
But when a person comes to our church in humility, and genuinely wants to get back on track for the Lord, I will do everything I can, and I will lead our church to everything we can, to help such a person get back into right fellowship with the Lord.
I am not told to deal with their sin - that is up to God. Once they come willing to "hear the matter", then my job, and the job of our church, and in fact the job of every Christian, is to restore them, not to beat them up.
I will never apologise for trying to restore a fallen Christian to right fellowship with God.
I will always try my best to help them see their sin and to deal with their sin in a godly fashion.
There may be people who lie to me about their heart and intent, but so far I have been pretty good at picking that up. I will no doubt make mistakes in this matter, but I do so KNOWING that I am trying to honour the Lord in this matter.
And I don't care about those who pass judgement on me for it.
I know what the Bible says about it.
I know what I have to do in these matters.
And I will ALWAYS try to restore such an one in the spirit of meekness.
Final note: I am talking about restoring a Christian to fellowship with the Lord, not about him "getting saved again". The Bible is plain that eternal life is... well.... eternal - and that means you can neither lose it, have it taken away, or even give it back. The RELATIONSHIP of a saved man can never change, but the FELLOWSHIP of a saved man with God changes all the time.
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